A great one has fallen

I was heartbroken to learn that my dear friend Vince, one of the founders of Chicago Crimson Moon, died last night after suffering a massive heart attack this weekend.

I join many across the country in mourning the loss of this generous, gregarious, wonderful man. He was a gentleman, a joker, and a dyed-in-the-wool spanko. He welcomed many into the spanking world with graciousness and good cheer and he will be remembered with fondness by many.

Love you, Vince.

Fried to a crisp

More Fun with Google

It's been a while since I went through the search terms that led you poor hapless suckers here. So let's review, shall we? :-D

edward spanking bella Oh God, I hope so. Seriously, if you find some good spanking fanfic, would you pass it on? Because I have Googled long and hard and not found anything decent.

pajama spankings These are the really serious kind. When cotton takes on cotton.

"spanked on weddind night" Spellcheck much?

need good old fashioned spanking, over the knee You and a whole lotta other people, my friend.

outside of the iris eye is not round Uh, I'm not sure, but I'm guessing this isn't what you were looking for, huh?

slippered my bottom hurts Hey! Mine too!

spanked and dragged to bed Spanked and sent to bed--Yes. Spanked and dragged to bed--a little too Caveman for my tastes.

spanking ow! Only if you do it right, darlin'.

youtube - through the eyes of love Again, this site was probably not the searcher's target...

spanking when hormonal Sometimes hormones make you want to spank, sometimes they make you want to be spanked. But spanking and hormones should only be mixed by trained professionals. Don't say I didn't warn you.

And my personal favorite:
trough iris eyes Which are really, really, really deep blue eyes. ;-)

Sometimes

Sometimes I want to be spanked.

And sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I want to be held accountable by a stern, loving, unyielding external force.

And sometimes I just want to make my own decisions.

Sometimes I want to be a little girl, petted and cuddled and swatted for being naughty.

And sometimes I need to be a grown up.

Lately I've been feeling more like the latter of all these pairs. It's not that I've lost interest in spanking, more that my interest is captured elsewhere. We also had a lot to do for the wedding and parties, so I've been highly organized and responsible for the last while and it's getting to feel like a habit. When M has threatened to spank me or has given me rules lately, I shrug and do what he wants--not so much from submission as from an innate knowing that he's right. I don't feel the need to be naughty or willful or even to ask outright for a spanking. Just don't need it now.

I'm not worried about having lost my spanking mojo: there are always ebbs and flows in spanking desire. Being in an ebb means that other things get done. Being in a flow means lots of spanking. [grin]

Besides, how long do you really think I can be good, even if it's genuine?

Chris, step away from the Barbie doll

Chris, sparkle, and their princess came down to see us today. It was a lovely visit and we had much more of a chance to talk than we did at the wedding. (Weddings, particularly your own, are ridiculously bad times to try to catch up with people.) M took the princess skateboarding and then sparkle gave her a bath while Chris spanked me with two hairbrushes and M watched. And I wasn't even bad! Chris said it was just to remind me that he cares about me; I hmphed and requested that he care about me a little more with his hand and a little less with the ebony brush.

The point of this post, however, is to highlight a fabulous new doll that their princess got for her birthday. The princess certainly loves it, but Chris couldn't seem to stop playing with it.

It looks innocuous, doesn't it?



The secret to this Barbie is that her tail moves backward when you push little invisible buttons in her hips.

And it rather looks like she's trying to spank herself. Or maybe that's just us. ;-)

Obsession

It started innocently enough.

I needed something to read on the honeymoon and hadn't packed any books before leaving Los Angeles. So in the airport on the first leg of the honeymoon trip, we stopped in Borders so I could browse and find something interesting. Half an hour later, M had three books picked out and I was still dithering. I wanted something light and amusing, but not so light that I would devour the entire thing before landing in St. Lucia.

Finally, at Mark's insistence, I settled on The Other Boleyn Girl and The Little Lady Agency.

Oh, and this book:



Oh.

My.

God.

I had no idea what I was buying. I had some vague notion that it was coming out as a movie and I saw someone reading it at the place I go to get waxed. But I didn't know it was about vampires and love and desire. Didn't know that it has a screaming teenage girl fan base. Didn't know that said movie would gross over $70 million in the first weekend.

I didn't know it was so ridiculously hot.

I was panting with desire at parts of the book, so unbearably turned on that I wanted to close the book and tackle M, but so hooked in that I couldn't stand to be separated from the story.

I finished the entire damn thing on the plane and in the hotel in Miami (our layover). The next day, I told M that we weren't flying anywhere until I got the other books in the series. This is no small commitment, since there are four books in the series. Each is about three inches thick. The last two only come in hardcover. And I didn't care: I had to finish them.



Now, I've never been a vampire lit fan. I've never read any of Anne Rice's stuff, never really found vampires sexy or alluring. But this little series has converted me. The funny thing is that there's almost nothing overtly sexual about the romance between Bella and Edward. For the first three books it's almost platonic: he won't kiss her and he flat out refuses to have sex with her. She pines and lusts for him (in subtle language that skirts the issue), but nothing happens. From all the reviews I've read, this point makes the series especially popular with mothers of teenagers, who want the abstinence message to come across loud and clear.

Yet even with all the innuendo and subtlety and non-action, these books are HOT. Edward is solicitous of Bella, but glowers when she is unsafe and scolds her soundly when she puts herself in danger. Delicious. There are scenes in all four books that just beg to be extended, for Edward to put Bella over his knee and spank her soundly. She is feisty, but also submissive. Delicious.

If you're wondering, yes, it was the perfect reading material for our honeymoon. The fires burned long and bright and hot.

And I don't care if I have the same taste in literature as a 13-year-old.

Post-Wedding Bliss

Hi everyone!

We're back. We're tired, jet-lagged, not ready for work tomorrow, and still reeling from the whirlwind of activities, but we're back. In a nutshell: The wedding was gorgeous and went off with no major catastrophes and plenty of lovely memories. The honeymoon in St. Lucia was an adventure, though also romantic and beautiful. The California reception yesterday was festive and fun with people we didn't see at the wedding.

I managed to be married for almost a full week before earning my first hairbrushing. :-) I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice to say that the St. Lucian sun is a bit stronger than I thought.

Thank you for all the good wishes and notes over the last month. The experience has been wonderful, but we are more than content to settle into married life without the extra drama of wedding-, travel-, and reception-planning. I'm especially looking forward to getting back into online life and having the time to read blogs and post here.

Pre-Wedded Bliss

I wish I had lots of kinky things to report from our household. After all, we are a young, healthy, kinky, soon-to-be-wed couple with a kinky girlfriend. We should be reveling in the excitement and love bubble, but instead we're caught between the extremely mundane (work, housecleaning, daily meal preparation, family obligations) and the temporarily insane (thank you notes, last minute decisions, tuxedo comparisons, floral options, indecisive guests). All of which conspire to divert our attention from each other and, ahem, more interesting pursuits. We've managed to entertain ourselves and stay connected, but there's been no interesting misbehavior on which to report. No sexy romps or spankings. No serious strappings or hairbrushings or paddlings. A few smacks here and there, but nothing blog-worthy.

I'm sorry, my friends. I don't expect you'll hear much from me in the next couple months. The glorious date is November 8th, and I'll be pretty busy from now until then. We arrive back from the honeymoon about 36 hours before our California reception, the Saturday before Thanksgiving. But rest assured, as soon as I'm feeling back in form I'll do something spunky and sassy and bratty and we'll be back in business. :-)

Go!

Advice, Please

Thank you all for the wonderful marriage/sex/kinky advice. I'm sure we'll, um, use all of your suggestions in one way or another. :-)

Anyway, I need help on a more serious front. M and I have a dear friend who has agreed to be our iPod DJ for the reception, but I have to help her make up the playlist. I'm seeking ideas for the dinner playlist and the after-dinner-dancing playlist. Dinner music will be Michael Buble/ Frank Sinatra/ jazzy-ish. After dinner, anything goes.

We need to fill up several hours with music, so I'd appreciate any and all ideas. sparkle suggested that we take our top ten or twenty favorites and make them into an iTunes playlist, so maybe we can do that.

SL08: Marriage Advice

My bestest sparkle threw an absolutely delightful shower/bachelorette party for me during the weekend in Vegas. We had wine, cheese, really good cookies, and a whole cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. Delicious.

I am truly not a shower-games kind of girl, but sparkle planned two fun games and came prepared with prizes for the winners. She also had a tiara for me that is VERY sparkly and says Bachelorette on it and a magic wand with a double sided star for bopping people; one side says Good Girl and the other says Bad Girl. Very fun.

One of the games she made up involved a series of 3x5 cards with questions printed on them. Guests at the party were each given three and had to write answers/advice designed to be thought- and laughter-provoking. (In a future post I may show evidence of the prize given to those who provoked a laugh from me.)

I thought you might be interested in adding your sage advice to the wisdom of those who were there, so I've reproduced some of the questions below. (To truly recreate the atmosphere and give the best advice possible, you may need a couple glasses of wine and something sparkly to wear on your head.)

1.) I really need to make him laugh. What can I do to amuse him?

2.) I really need to cry and it's not his fault. Why should I burden him with my drama?

3.) What came first--the sperm or the egg? And why should I not get to orgasm as much as possible?

4.) I really need to sleep. What can I do so he'll keep his hands to himself?

5.) He thinks I need some time in the corner. What can I do to keep him from getting bored while I'm there?

6.) Do you know how turned on I would be if he ran the vacuum? How can I convince him?

7.) Wine would stain the bed cover. What can I put on my body that he'll lick off?

8.) Some people don't know when to leave after a dinner invitation. What polite thing can I say to make them go away before my bedtime spanking?

8.5) Some people I don't want to leave after dinner. What can I say so they'll stay past my bedtime spanking--without pajamas?

9.) If I don't spank someone I'm going to scream. What can I do to get him to bend over and take it like a big boy?

10.) I'm hormonal and crying at Cheerios commercials. Should I buy a stock of home pregnancy tests yet?

11.) My bottom is bruised and sore. What can I do to get some sympathy around here?

12.) I really want to have sex. What can I do to interest him?

12.5.) I really need a spanking. What can I do to interest him?

Any and all answers are welcome, but especially funny ones!

SL08: Shower Teaser

I don't have time to write a full or proper post tonight. Work is hell lately and my soon-to-be-in-laws returned from six weeks in Africa to have dinner and spend the night tonight. M is already in bed (at 9:30 and before me, for possibly the first time in our entire relationship) and I am following him. Still, I thought you'd like to see the top I wore on Sunday for the shower that sparkle organized for me. Fitting, don't you think?

SL08: Calibration

A mini-story from the party this weekend:

On Saturday afternoon, we were lounging in Pablo and Mija's room with Chris, sparkle, and Bridget. I was lying face down on a bed and M was sort-of spanking me. By "sort-of spanking me," I mean, "we were all talking and he was hitting me with a cane (lightly) and a strap, though it didn't interrupt the conversation at all."

At some point in the afternoon I made a comment about how I'd never actually been slippered, but was curious. Pablo sighed, stood up, crossed the room to the bedside dresser, and pulled out a slipper, noting that I "really shouldn't make comments like that." (Grin.) I invited him to try it on me.

He hesitated.

"I don't know that I'm really calibrated for you," he said.

It took me a moment to realize what he meant.

I have noted, here and elsewhere, that I have an extremely high pain tolerance, particularly if I'm in the right mood. And I am not particularly vocal during a spanking. I'm not sure if this is natural, prideful, or a function of living in apartments and other close quarters. Whatever the reason, I don't tend to squeal or yelp or cry out much, even when the sensation is intense.

My dear friends sparkle, Mija, and Bridget, on the other hand, are squealers, yelpers, and criers out. Emphatically so.

I bent over and put my elbows on the bed. Paul took aim and whacked my jeans-covered bottom with the slipper. I took a sharp breath. He whacked me again, on the other cheek. I exhaled sharply. Someone in the room said, "Did you even feel those?" M said, "Oh, she felt that alright."

See, M is calibrated to my responses.* He could read my body language and breath from all the way across the room. As he said later, "That slippering made you hurt more than anything I've seen in a long time. It really made you have to hold on, didn't it?"

Um, yeah. A lot.

All in all, Pablo probably gave me 10-15 swats (M's estimate--I can't remember the count). And I really did have to hold on. Even though it was not a punishment, even though my bottom was protected through thick denim. It hurt and burned sharply, but I didn't say much beyond, "ooh" and "ow." I winced a bit but didn't claw at the air or stand up.

And according to most of the observers in the room, I must be some kind of freak.** ;-)

*I promise to try to persuade him to write a post about my reactions someday.

**Still, I'm not keen on being slippered again anytime soon, particularly for punishment.

Shadow Lane 2008

We're back! And, of course, we had a wonderful time. I even managed to get some relaxation and sleeping done, despite frantic calls from work on Saturday morning and the possibility that I might have to fly home early to deal with things.

There will be more posts to come in the days ahead (I promise) with details of the kinky shower sparkle threw for me and other merriment from the weekend.

Now we have to unpack and try to get organized for the week.

The Fickle Blogger

It would be totally unacceptable for an entire month to go by without a post. So, um, even though it's been a full month since I last posted, I'm going to register at least one post for the month of August.

Sigh.

It's not that life has been hard. Just full.

Full mostly of wedding and work and life. M and I spent one full weekend at a premarital counseling event alternately referred to as "Jesus Camp" (though most of it was truly wonderful). We've been trying to be intentional about spending time with each other, even when I chose to work 12 days in a row and made myself sick, even when work for him is stressful off the charts, even when we're working on getting 70 wedding invitations assembled and mailed on top of the 100 California reception invitations printed and mailed. Yeah, life's been busy.

We've found some time for spanking. I'm really not stressed about the wedding or the preparations--I've chosen Flexibility as a spiritual discipline and I'm not letting myself be overworked about any single wedding issue. Wrong return address on the invitations? Who cares? Too many decisions to fit in a single day? Take one at a time. I'm proud of how I'm handling each individual thing. But the cumulative weight of it all is starting to get to me. (It doesn't help that I'm also trying to compile a voluminous file for professional certification at the same time.) So I've been spanked for general stress levels and for that ultimate sin, Not Taking Care of Myself. Which seems like a highly overrated value right now, if you ask me. But nothing serious.

At this moment, M is in Las Vegas for the Shadow Lane party; I'll follow tomorrow night. M, Chris, sparkle, and I have gotten a suite for this party: a new thing for all of us and something we've wanted to try. Sparkle has something fun planned for Sunday afternoon (I'm sure we'll fill you in upon our return). And I am trying to pack, clean our apartment for unexpected company that will stay here while we're gone, and get in as much relaxing as possible. Shadow Lane is lots of fun and it will be wonderful to see friends, but it's not what I'd call a real vacation. Too much to focus on, too many people around, and too much to do/see.

Friends, forgive me. I'm tired and a bit overwhelmed. I truly am looking forward to the weekend and despite my complaints, I truly am doing well. Life is very, very good. I am deeply in love with the man I am going to marry and I am lucky to be planning our wedding. Hopefully, the next time I post it will be with something interesting and something kinky.

Happy Birthday, sparkle!

I know I've been delinquent in posting lately, but this is important.

It's sparkle's birthday!

Even though she's been sick lately. Even though she's been strapped in mean places lately.

Happy birthday, dear one! May your celebration be loud, long, and lusty. ;-)

A Cure for the Common What?

If you're itching to know the resolution to last Friday's injunction--join the crowd.

;-)

The perfect, storybook ending to this story would be this:

M came home on Sunday night to find me sprawled on the bed in my sexiest lingerie. He took one look at me, growled, and then fucked me till we were both sore and exhausted. (Oh, and in this dream, he isn't tired, sore, or smelly from hiking for two days straight.)

But the real story goes like this:

On Thursday I started with a headache in the back of my head.

On Friday it came back, just a little. And then M forbade me from orgasming for at least two days.

On Saturday night it came back with a vengeance (and a special little twist).

On Sunday, I started my period and there was a crazy mudslide on the the ONE road back from the mountain M was hiking. My headache returned in the evening and M didn't get back until 2 a.m.

On Monday, I went to work and left early because my headache was creeping back in. Monday night we had dinner with family.

This morning (Tuesday), I opened my eyes with my alarm, realized that the headache was still f*&#ing with me, and cursed.

Then I rolled over and started kissing M's neck. Fortunately, he's fairly persuade-able, even when tired, so he was amenable to suggestions.

We had lovely, lovely sex, even if it wasn't the thunder-crashing, apocalyptic sex of the fantasy.

I got up and showered. M went back to sleep.

My headache was 100% gone by the end of my shower. And hasn't returned all day.

I don't know whether to tout this as a cure for migraines or conceal it from M. He's either going to want to fuck every time I have a headache or he's never going to do the insanely hot orgasm-injunction again. I'm kind of stuck.

Although thoroughly enjoying myself. Grin.

48 Hours

I'm sorry. I know you're waiting for the follow-up to yesterday's post. And it's half-written. But something new has cropped up and it takes precedence.

There's no way to tell this story but down and dirty:

I am sore from last night's spanking. Really, really sore.

M is leaving for two days of hiking. Tonight.

He was mostly distracted while packing and getting ready--until just before he left.

He grabbed my incredibly sore bottom and twisted. Then pulled me over his lap and spanked me HARD.

Then gave me a rule for tonight: at least one hour of work on my project before I go to sleep. Or else I get woken up Sunday night and strapped hard with the horrible plastic-y strap from Cody and Nisha.

I helped him carry things to his car in the garage. He grabbed a handful of my hair, pulled me up tight against him, kissed me passionately, and informed me that I am not allowed to orgasm for the next two days.

WTF?!?!

Not at all. I am not allowed to come until he's home and fucks me. If I come at all in the next two days I will not be allowed to come for a week--

WTF?!?!?!

--and I'll be strapped hard every night of that week.

O.

M.

G.

And then he left. Kissed me hard and pulled out of the garage.

I was so turned on.

And then he came back.

He'd forgotten his fishing rod. Looked inside the carrier and found four canes. As a testament to how turned on I was, I bent over and invited him to try them on my (have I mentioned?) incredibly sore bottom.

He did.

I squealed.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushed me into the wall, grabbed my pussy, and we made out like horny teenagers.

But I didn't come.

I was literally panting and moaning. Close to begging.

He said, "You may need a cold shower in order to get your work done."

And before I knew it, he tugged me in the bathroom, stripped me, turned on the cold water, and literally shoved me into the shower.

Not just into the water a little.

He pushed me into the water, then he pushed my head (my hair!) under the stream, then pulled me back so that my face got wet too.

Then he pulled my head out of the water, kissed me hard, and said, "I'll see you in two days. Be good."

I stood there, spluttering and shivering (from cold and turned-on-ed-ness) before turning on the warm water and watching it run off my rock-hard nipples in sheer frustration.

That may have been the single sexiest, single most frustrating encounter of my life.

I better get to work on my project.

I'm so gonna need another shower.

I'm getting spanked

I finally broke down this morning and asked M to spank me hard.

He nodded sleepily, pulled me tight up against him, and whispered into my hair, "I love you, beautiful. And I'm going to give you a really serious spanking tonight."

Pause.

"The kind that goes on way too long."

Pause.

"The kind that has you wishing it were over way before it is."

Gulp.

But it's ok. I soooo need it.

sparkle Started It

sparkle started it.

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 and force books upon them.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (M and I read them out loud to each other—my Elvish is better but he chants better)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (only because I had to for school)
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (but not in sequence)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (only because I had to for school)
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (We’re in the middle of the Golden Compass)
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (read several, though not nearly all)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife- Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky 28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis 37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha- Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh -
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (probably only my favorite series of all time—I have every book ever published with LMM stories)
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale- Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov (truly excellent—my senior seminar was on Nabokov)
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones- ALice Sebold
65. The Count of Monte Cristo- Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Though I have a few to add of my own. Seriously. No mention of Uncle Tom's Cabin, Clarissa, Harriet the Spy, or The Sweet Potato Queens? Who are they kidding with this "Top 100" nonsense?

I Admit It

I so want an ass like these women.

Sigh.

So much.

The Saga of the Sunburn, Part 2

Not that anyone is interested in this, but I thought I'd post the end of the story, just for continuity's sake.

Grin.

Yes, Lily and I did get spanked. In front of each other. With scolding and sternness and red bottoms and everything.

M required that we both wear skirts and we both complied, like the good girls we are. I wore my new Victoria's Secret panties that say "Angel" on them, just for good luck and subliminal messaging. Lily wore a thong, practical girl.

And she got to go first, lucky duck. I think M was trying to be nice because she's never had a spanking for punishment before. He had us both sit down on the (hard wood) coffee table and he stood over us, gently scolding and reminding us why we were there and what was going to happen. Then he sat down on the couch and held out his hand to Lily. She glanced at me a little nervously and I gave her a supportive smile as she gingerly put her hand in M's. He pulled her up and over his knee and raised her skirt. He caressed her backside briefly and then started spanking. On the whole it was definitely not the hardest spanking I've ever seen, but her bottom turned an alluring shade of red (sorry, Lily!) and she squirmed delightfully. Of course, I could only partly enjoy it because I knew that my turn was next and included the ebony hairbrush. Lily did feel the wrath of Ian's Nanny Paddle, but was spared any ebony because of her inexperience.

Oh, and [mumble, mumble] it happened [mumble] to be a [mumblerepeatmumble] offense for me.

Ahem.

And then it was my turn. Even though Lily was nursing a beautiful pink bottom, I believe she was rapt in attention. I got the barest of warmups, a short stern scolding, and then the damn hairbrush. Which came down far too hard, far too many times. Not the hardest or longest spanking of my life, but certainly a memorable one, if only for the presence of a comrade/witness.

Not that anyone's interested in this part either, but there were lots of cuddles and kisses afterward. We both said our obligatory thank yous and were forgiven.

Now I just need to buy some spray-on sunscreen. Or maybe steal Lily's. ;-)

Happy Birthday, Chris!

Today is Chris' birthday--a much happier, more relaxed one than last year. And he has much to celebrate today with both of his girls safely at home with him.

Happy Birthday, dear Chris! May there be much spanking and merriment today and for the whole year to come.

**Anyone hoping for a post of a different nature (say, a Part 2) will just have to wait. I'm already late for work. But in case you were worried, my hands-free device did arrive yesterday, just in the nick of time. Phew!

The Saga of the Sunburn, Part 1

I think something is wrong with me. No, really. I can't seem to go outside for more than 15 minutes without getting sunburned these days. Granted, I am of Swedish and German descent and I am a Midwesterner by birth. But I've been living in Southern California for two years (as of Tuesday) and I've never had this much trouble with the sun.

By now you may have realized that I am sunburned yet again. And by "yet again," I mean, " for the third time since my horrible horrible sunburn 6 weeks ago." Sigh. No, I'm not taking any medication that might make me more photosensitive--I'm not taking any medication, period. And no, I'm not a complete moron. I just don't expect to get burned by being outside for 15 or 20 minutes. None of these burns are even remotely the same as the bad burn from earlier and none of them are in the same place. I've been extremely careful not to reinjure the spots where I got burned before. But last weekend I was working on our little patio planting some herbs and vegetables; it was hot and I was wearing shorts and a sports bra. So my shoulders (carefully sunscreened) stayed fine but my upper and lower back got pink (a perfect outline of the sports bra). And yesterday I stopped by a friend's house for lunch and we sat outside to eat, so my chest got burned. Not my arms, which were also exposed. Just my chest. Sigh. I think there's something wrong with me.

And there's definitely something wrong with M. All his gentle good nature and sweetness have evaporated on this issue. I have a new rule about wearing sunscreen every day on my back, shoulders, and chest. So even though I have a Very Good Reason why I wasn't wearing it yesterday, he's not sympathetic.

Which might be why Lily is wishing she'd stayed home last night.

When he got home from his hike, Lily was over and we were having a girls' date. It was fun until I lifted my shirt to show him the new bra I got at Victoria's Secret. His eyes got kind of flinty and he said, "You got burned."

"Just a little! It's not bad. It'll be gone by Monday."

"You're getting paddled."

"It's really ok! I promise! Just a little pink--it's really not bad."

"You didn't wear sunscreen and you got burned. You have a rule about that. You're so getting paddled."

My eyes got big and my mouth went into a little o. "Then I'm going to keep Lily here with me all night."

"Then Lily can watch you get punished. She likes that."

This is true, she does. She isn't completely in the scene yet--she's still exploring what she likes and what she wants--but she definitely does like to watch people get spanked. Hard.

At this point she came and flung herself on me. "You can't spank Iris, cause I got burned today too." This is also true. Different situation than mine: she did put sunscreen on, but didn't reapply and stayed out in the sun all day.

M's eyes got flintier. "Then you're getting paddled too."

Lily let out an almost inaudible "eep" and buried her face into me.

He looked at us. "I have two naughty girls here who didn't take good care of themselves. So you're both going to get spanked hard. And you're both going to watch the other one get spanked."

We sat in silence, a bit surprised by the turn of events.

"But I'm not going to spank you now. I'm too sore and I think it will do you some good to stew about it."

Some negotiation about schedules followed and then, "7:00 tomorrow night it is, then."

Which is, if you haven't guessed, in, um, two hours and thirty-three minutes. Gulp.

Would you please buy me WHAT?

A quick check in. No, we're not maimed or dead. Or sick. Or even on a spanking break. We're just living.

We had a FABULOUS time at the Florida Moonshine party at the beginning of the month.

Chris and sparkle were here last night and we had a delightful time with them. (I even got a good girl spanking!)

I've been mostly well-behaved lately.

And today I asked M to buy me a hairbrush.

No, seriously.

I even spent five minutes with him on the phone while he wandered around Target looking for the right one.

Sigh.

No worries, my friends. We have enough damn heavy wooden, flat-backed ones in our house. This one was a round brush, to be used strictly for drying Iris' hair.

Fun with Text Messages

Did you ever notice how sometimes one simple phrase leads to a whole other conversation? And how those other conversations often lead to someone getting spanked? I had two of those last night.

Grin.

The first one was with Chris; he reported on the events fairly accurately here, so I won't reiterate them. But I did have a hunch that texting a fireman about a potential fire hazard in my bed might get a reaction.

The second one happened over the course of the evening. M had a meeting last night, so he set the Tivo to record the Lakers-Spurs game. Before he left I said, "I'm going to watch the game. Do you want me to text you periodic updates?" Being the diehard fan he is, he answered in the negative, rather emphatically. About half an hour later I texted him and said, "The Spurs are up by 80 at the end of the first quarter!" He texted back a raspberry. And that was all in good fun.

Fast forward to the fourth quarter of a very exciting game. I was chatting online with a vanilla friend of ours and mentioned that I'd teased M about the score--and that I thought he should do the same. A few minutes later he wrote, "Just sent the text." And we pretty much left it at that. M's meeting went really late and by the time he got home I was half-asleep. The conversation went something like this:

M: Are you asleep, love?
I: Mmmphgf.
M: Ohhh, I'm so tired!
I: I'm sorry, sweetie. Wanna snuggle?
M (climbing into bed): I actually want to watch the game.
I: OK, baby.
M: S wrecked it for me, though. He sent me a text that said, "Bummer about the Lakers."
I: [snort of repressed laughter]
M: What?
I: [snort of less repressed laughter]
M: What?
I: I told him to do that.
M (leaping out of bed): What?!
I (squealing and flipping onto my back): No, no, no!
M: You're going to be saying that more in a minute!
I: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ... ow! (You get the point.)

We were both laughing, though he spanked me really hard with his hand and the hairbrush from my nightstand. :-( I fell asleep happy. And he did too: the Lakers won.

Twin Spankings

Is is sexier if you don't know what they're saying?



I just love the first girl getting spanked over his arm: yum.

Layers

Not much new to report around here. We're busy with jobs, lives, wedding plans, and general things like laundry. I did get spanked this weekend. M made it a temporary rule that I wasn't allowed to touch or pick at the peeling skin on my shoulders because he was (justly) worried that I would scar the skin. But it's just so cool, you know? The skin was coming off in sheets--crocodile sheets! So I did give in to temptation and then confessed (of course). Which meant that he decreed a spanking for me, and I, being the overtired girl I was at the moment, got downright sassy. (I think he said "mouthy, naughty, and defiant"--or something like that.) I really didn't think he was going to do anything at the moment and that's always a mistake (particularly if you voice that conviction). He took me in the other room and hairbrushed me with the ebony brush and then said that I deserved another hairbrushing the next day. Sheesh! So I got spanked two days in a row (within 12 hours) and I had to stand in the corner after my second spanking. Which is not very nice at all.

Don't worry. I'm pretty much recovered. ;-)

Red All Over

Just when I thought I was starting to heal from my punishments last week, Thursday came around. Which meant that D came over and I got spanked. I won't bore you with details (grin), but it was hard and heavy and I ended up very red and ultimately bruised. The red has to do with how hard he spanks, and the bruised has to do with where he spanks, which is far too high, too low, and too sideways for my taste. (Not dangerously so, you understand. I won't play with anyone I consider even remotely dangerous. I just happen to have a VERY low tolerance for what I consider too high and he spanks on the sides of my butt and my thighs, which I think is totally unfair. I don't expect to have a lot of input on this. ;-)) I've broken out the Arnica for the first time in a long time and we're running low.

And then just when I was starting to heal from that, Sunday came around. Which isn't a special date in particular except that M and I spent about four hours walking around outside and I got the absolute worst sunburn of my life on my back, chest, and shoulders. I am in so much pain (even two days later) that I have a hard time wearing clothes, I can't lift my arms above my shoulders, and the skin on my shoulders looks like bubble wrap (I'm blistered). I'm pushing the limit on how much aloe with lidocaine I can apply in a 24-hour period, popping aspirin and vitamin E pills like chocolate chips, and I even came home from work early today so I could work from home and not have to wear clothes that bit into my scorched flesh.

Before you ask: no, I'm not in trouble. M is being very sweet, rubbing vitamin E and aloe on me and giving me sweet attention. I know that Chris would have spanked the hell out of me if he lived nearby (c.f. an event from two years ago), but I'll be well-healed by the next time we get together. So I'm not getting spanked. But I am very, very red. And very, very in pain.

Sympathy, please.

A Real Punishment

I just posted at Punishment Book, so check out the story of my latest spanking over there.

What's the Difference...

...between a "mean" spanking and a "stern" spanking? Because the sharp, sting-y, VERY ouchy spanking I got from M last night was apparently not "mean," it was "stern." Felt pretty mean to me. I got grabbed, tossed over his lap on the bed, and spanked hard. And then when I thought it was over, he pulled down my pajamas and spanked me harder. :-( Mean, right?

Sadly, no Thursday updates today. The group has conflicting schedules, so anyone salivating in anticipation of a detailed orgiastic report (cough, Chris, cough, Paul, cough) will have to wait another week. :-)

Funny Hairbrushes

A little something to brighten up your mid-week. I remember seeing this on TV (though not in the original, obviously) and loving it. Make sure to watch all the way through: the second time is a wonderful slow motion re-take.

I Love Thursdays

So Thursdays have become my new favorite day of the week.

Not because I love my job so much.

Not because I am a mid-week kind of girl.

Nope.

Thursdays are my new favorite day because we now have two friends who are only available to come over on Thursdays. And they're fun. And kinky. One of them kisses divinely and the other can spank like no one's business. Yum.

How did we discover this? Like many good things in life, they were both under our noses (sort of). Lily has been a friend of ours for a long time, but has recently become a good friend, if you know what I mean. (And by "what I mean," I mean "she is very sexy and funny and sweet and likes to kiss both of us but especially me." Which is delightful.) She's just starting to explore her kinky side in a more public way (we're hoping to entice her to Shadow Lane with us) and she's becoming fairly adept at sassing, especially at funny moments. She loves the sensual, power play side of WIIWD*, but also enjoys watching other people get spanked.

D has been a friend of M's for a long time, but I'd never really met him until last week when he spanked me hard. Really hard. Hard enough that I was giggling and wiggling and a little bruised (and I don't bruise easily). Yum. This week he gave me a semi-mock punishment. I say "semi-mock" because the reason was nominal: I had gotten busy and hadn't checked my email for a few days, which meant that I hadn't responded to his emails. (Which is apparently really rude.) But the punishment felt real enough--I may have mentioned this before, but he spanks hard. Even just with his hand when he's trying not to bruise me because I'm trying on wedding dresses tomorrow with my mom and my sister.

Two strong, stern men to spank me for fun and for real with hands and various implements. A beautiful, sensual woman to kiss before, during, and after said spankings. Oh yeah, I definitely love Thursdays.

*What It Is We Do

De-stressing Spanking #2

Damn.

I can't believe I'm writing another entry so soon.

Seriously.

I'm actually not stressing about the wedding now. It's been fun lately, planning in my head (no concrete decisions yet) and making appointments, but not really doing a whole lot of anything.

My job, on the other hand, is pretty stressful lately. Lots of really tiny, really important details to track and not lose. And while I'm capable of that, I'm really more of a big-picture kind of girl. But it's the deal for now (and the foreseeable future). Which means that I'm stressed at work and taking it out on myself.

And possibly on those around me.

Tonight I got home, tired from the day, with one hand/arm completely full of groceries for our six dinner guests (invited by M), and the other hand loaded with my purse, our mail, and my keys. And couldn't get into the apartment. Even when I kicked and knocked on the door. After dropping the groceries, most of the mail, and my keys, M finally opened the door. I was not pleased.

"Surly" is the word M might have used.

Fast forward past me being annoyed and snapping at M, then trying to make nice while still stressed, then biting his nose (playfully, I swear!), then accidentally boxing his ears (no, really. I genuinely would not do that ever on purpose). Then realizing that I was not being nice and walking back to his office to apologize.

En route, he met me in the hallway, cheerfully accepted my apology, and dragged me into the bedroom. I didn't know what was going on, but didn't protest. He flopped me over his knee, over the bed (we have a tall bed), and I caught sight of the three implements on my vanity. Serious leather straps, all. Um, yikes.

I got scolded. And strapped. Hard. Over my jeans, but still. He said that he knew I was wound up and that I really needed to be spanked. And more than being spanked, I needed to know that I was being spanked, which meant that it actually needed to be louder than sharp. (An unusual occurrence for me.) So I got strapped. Until I settled way the heck down. And then I got snuggled.

And I apologized sincerely for all my behavior.

And I de-stressed.

Sigh. I guess it does work.

De-stressing Spanking #1

It may surprise some of you to know this, but I am a fairly intense person. I tend to throw myself into whatever I do with lots of energy, high self-expectations, and a good dash of humor. So it may not surprise some of you to know that I've already had a mini wedding meltdown.

Before I go any farther, I want to state for the record that my entire goal for the wedding and the planning process is that I enjoy myself and everyone around me enjoys themselves too. I've been through and to enough weddings with Bridezillas that I know a lot of things to avoid. I know that things will go wrong. I know that it won't turn out exactly how it is in my head. I also know that no one besides me (and maybe my mom and my sister) will remember the food, the flowers, or my dress. All the details that brides spend so much time planning? They are part of the experience and the event--and that's what guests remember. They remember a happy couple, they remember feeling comfortable and welcomed, and they remember having been a part of the day. So. My plan is to NOT go nuts.

On Monday night, after M proposed (and we called about 40 people), I was tired. Excited, floaty, and tired. So I climbed into bed and couldn't sleep. Not a bit. I wanted to sleep, but it was like I'd had 20 cups of coffee. But that was ok, because Tuesday at work I got to tell a whole other batch of people, so I had more adrenaline to keep me going. Tuesday night: still couldn't sleep. By Wednesday I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm planning the wedding in a state 2000 miles away and I've been trying not to overwhelm M with too much weddingness. (He's interested, but only to a point.) I came home around 9 from a dinner, looked at M and a friend of ours sitting in the living room, and said, "If I don't go to bed right now, I'm going to fall apart." So, like a good girl, I went to bed. Stared at the ceiling. Ran through reception site options in my head. Firmly told myself to stop thinking about wedding things. Meditated. Did progressive relaxation. Two and a half hours later, I got up, opened our bedroom door, walked into M's office, and burst into tears. Absolutely lost it. I was so tired, so overwrought, and all I wanted to do was sleep. M was wonderful. Soothing, cooing, snuggling, rubbing--all of his best tricks. (And still we had to resort to sleeping medicine.) And I finally fell asleep, thank God.

However, by last night he was not quite as love-y. We had dinner and then I was on the couch, watching Season Two of my current favorite show in the whole world (don't laugh, it's really good), when he walked up and held out his hand for the remote. I didn't whine, I didn't plead, I didn't look up with Bambi eyes. I just said, "No!" and tried to wrestle it away from him. Which, in retrospect, was perhaps the wrong idea. When he went to the bedroom to get the hairbrush, I darted in the bathroom and closed the door. He waited patiently, but I wasn't coming out. I mean, really! What were my options? Not good. Finally, I heard him call from the bedroom, "Young lady, this clock says 8:15. For every minute you're in there past 8:15, you're getting a huge paddle swat." Crap! Options getting worse by the minute! Literally. I poked my nose out and saw him standing in our bedroom, looking very stern. The moment I put my toe inside the room, he tossed me over his knee on the bed and started spanking, hard. Then he pulled me back upright and dragged me over to the corner: hands behind my back, no touching the wall. Then it was back over his knee for spanking with his hand, the leather paddle (I think), and the horrible ebony hairbrush. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I was fussing and kicking, but my energy gave out pretty soon. He finished me off with 10 very hard paddle swats, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If you put one foot out of bed, you'll be back in the corner, then you'll be blistered worse than this with the brush, and then you'll head into the corner again. Got it?"

And then I got put to bed, with a slight interruption for some delightful sex. :-) I slept for 12 hours straight. :-)

BIG news!

So first, a mea culpa for not posting sooner. A variety of reasons, including me going through my apparently seasonal loss of interest in spanking (seems to be every spring, which is counterintuitive, but that's what it is). Also we've just been really busy. And I'm sorry not to be posting anything long, witty, insightful, or juicy. But here's the news:

M and I are engaged!

Hopefully this will make up for some of my recent absence. And I really will try to be better about posting, even though I'm now planning a wedding. :-)

Euphoric Tendencies

I'm back from my trip and want to rave about the play I flew there to see, Euphoric Tendencies. It's fantastic. Seriously. Anyone who lives anywhere near NYC (and by "near," I mean "Boston, DC, Maine, or Georgia") needs to make the effort to go. Trust me, it's well worth it.

Granted, I'm pretty biased. I mean, I have slept with the author, director, and two of the actors (which only adds up to two people). And both of them have spanked me. But even setting that aside, this is still a really good show. It's funny, it's well-written, the cast does a wonderful job, and it has lots of spanking. What more can you ask for?

The basic plot line is similar to Secretary in that there's a young woman who doesn't have a good sense of herself and she finds both her identity and her creative juices through spanking. But unlike Secretary (a movie I really like, by the way), the main character isn't portrayed as deeply flawed when she starts out--just confused and a little lost. And I think this shows a much more playful and joyful side to the scene; not nearly as intense as the movie.

So that's my plug for the day, kids. I have lots more to write about, but I'm already late for work. Wanted to make sure I got the link up today, though.

Go. See. It.

New York, New York!

So I'm off to New York City for the weekend. Partly to see friends. Partly to see a fabulous new off-Broadway show, Euphoric Tendencies. My dear friends Yoni and Tasha are the producers (and directors and actors and writers). It's running for the next few weeks, so if you're in the area, go see it. I'll check in when I get back...

Steaming Mad

Like most good spankos, my eyes and ears are finely attuned to catch the merest mention of spanking in the mainstream media. So when MSN ran this headline on their home page yesterday, I couldn't help but notice: Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior.

A CAVEAT: I have no desire to open up the debate on whether or not adults should spank children. That topic can get out of hand far too easily and isn't what I'm mad about anyway. I'm angry about this section of the article:

They found that spanking and other corporal punishment is associated with an increased probability of verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex; risky sex such as premarital sex without using a condom; and masochistic sex such as spanking during sex.

There is a "dose response" at work here. "The more parents spank, the higher the probability of harmful side effects," Straus noted.

Of course, there's a similar dose response for smokers. But if someone reaches the age of 65 without developing lung cancer, it doesn't mean that smoking isn't harmful. It means the person was one of the lucky ones.

It's the same with spanking, Straus said. "If a person says, 'I was spanked, and I don't have any interest in bondage and discipline sex, that's correct, but it's not because spanking is OK, it's because they're one of the lucky ones."

Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me? We've all read studies and heard discussions about spanking making kids more violent or at least normalizing violence; that's not new. But these studies (there are four of them) aim to show that spanking your kids will make them run out and find unmarried, nonconsensual partners they can spank and then fuck without condoms. And that all of these things are equally bad. I see so many flaws in this rationale I think the researcher should be embarrassed to publish his work. And I would personally like to kick him in the shins and call him some bad names--to his face.

Let's start with the idea that 90% of parents spank their kids at some point (these are his statistics). If that's the case, there are either a lot more kinky folks out there than we know about, or a lot more lucky folks than Straus knows about. Then let's talk about the implausibility of trying to link teenage/adult unprotected sex with childhood spankings--where, exactly does he find any remotely logical connection between the two? Successive occurrence of unrelated actions does not imply causality.

But I think what bothers me most is the ignorance and fear-mongering latent in his conclusion. Straus' concludes that parents are condemning their children to dangerous, kinky, immoral, and deviant sex lives because he assumes that spanking/BDSM/kinky sex is inherently wrong and to be avoided at all costs. Which is either laughably, pitiably stupid, or maddeningly, damnably ignorant. I'm leaning toward the latter.

Living in a Petri Dish

For all my good intentions about posting more in February, life intervened and good intentions fell by the wayside. And by "life," I mean, "M got really really sick again and then gave me part of it so that I was only-kinda-sorta sick." Which sucks. We are so tired of being sick, coughing, navigating piles of used Kleenex, and being separated from our normal lives. This weekend, the first time we're both feeling more like ourselves, we're cleaning and organizing and doing our best to rout out the germs that have become too comfortable in our house. Here's to a better, healthier March!

Sadly, this has also meant very few spankings in our house. Of any kind, punishment or playful. I did get hairbrushed a little teeny bit for going to Curves one morning when I was way too sick to go. And I got a "calm down, you're getting too worked up" spanking the other night. But not a lot of fun things to report.

But given how long it's been since we've played and/or I've been naughty, I think you'll be getting more fun reports soon.

Still Here

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Getting Serious About Play

I am feeling better today. Better enough to be horrified at the state of our apartment and insist that M help me move things so I could vacuum. Better enough to shower and blow dry my hair. Better enough to be driven to our favorite weekend breakfast spot for real food. But not so good that each of those activities didn't require a 20-minute (or more) rest. This is my after-brunch rest time. It's possible that I'm supposed to be napping, but M is in the other room on the computer and I think I'm ok as long as I'm having quiet time.

Just after the Shadow Lane party, I posted at Punishment Book about my desire to do more spanking play as opposed to real-life discipline, which is both at the heart of my kink and the bulk of what M and I do together. Paul linked to that post and spun off his own thoughts, which made me think about it again. So this is a response to a response. Of sorts. (Remember, you're getting the ramblings of a recently very sick woman.)

Paul wrote:

I think it's probably especially important for people whose primary expression of the kink is real-life discipline that they try to balance that with play that's more explicitly fun, both with their own partners and with others - whatever the conventional kink analogue of a fuck buddy would be.

An excellent point. For those of us who live in real-life, real-time discipline relationships, it can lose some of the spark or some of the energy. If the bottom is always misbehaving and the top is always correcting said misbehavior, it can become as rote and dry as the cliche about vanilla sex where she lies on her back and thinks about England. (Sorry, Paul!) We fall into our expected roles, play out the scripted encounter, and return to the rest of our lives. Which doesn't mean we get no enjoyment or fulfillment out of the interaction, quite the contrary. The very normalcy can be a wonderful thing; I know many people, tops and bottoms, who would love to be in a relationship where kink or discipline were the norm. But it does mean that we may be losing sight of the possibilities for different kinds of interactions and dimensions.

Like a fuck buddy. My gay friends are probably more comfortable with this idea than my straight friends, but we in the kink world certainly have an analogy. Many of the kinky folks I know are purposely not monogamous kink-wise. They tend to share their kink energy more readily than most share their sexual energy, and I think this is a good thing. I'm certainly not proposing that everyone must have multiple spanking partners, but as Paul points out, it can definitely be a good thing for those of us who fall on the heavy-to-serious end of the spanking spectrum. One way to lighten things up is to have alternative partners who interact in a different way than our primary/disciplinary partners. People who only spank you for fun or only spank you to orgasm. Intentionally seeking these relationships is a good, healthy way for us to balance WIIWD (What It Is We Do) with some fun.

And it's generally good to shake up routines and bring spice into a relationship. (Though our "routine" is probably many people's "extra spicy.") It doesn't hurt to remind ourselves to have fun with this glorious kink we've been given. Fun can mean pushing the limits of tolerance--but it can also mean taking some of the pressure off ourselves and playing on a different, lighter level.

Some of my friends play only on light levels. They dislike role play or anything that smacks (forgive the pun) of real-life or discipline. Some of them are sensualists, some are into heavier play, some only like it as foreplay before a sexual encounter. But for those of us who need a "real" dimension, lighter play can pose a problem. Again, Paul:

Figuring out what it means for play to be real, without being real-life . . . is a bit of a conundrum. . . . I'm not interested in play unless it's meaningful.

I don't play much at parties either, for this same reason. I am not a lap surfer, and I had some pretty serious meltdowns after my first few parties where I played with everyone who asked. It took a while to realize that I have a powerful connection with anyone who spanks me; I believe this is because all play is real on some level for me. Even if I'm not being spanked for a reason, the connection and the relationship are real, and those are not things I mess around with. So for me, meaningful play comes from the relationship with the top: a high degree of trust, of course, but also a compatibility of style. I have found a few people I enjoy playing with very much, usually people who are comfortable with themselves and who are flexible enough to play at varying levels of intensity. I am capable of playing very heavily, and I like a partner who can go there too.

Of all the possible ways to engage, discipline is the most intimate, most intense level for me, and I reserve access to that area for only a few people. It is satisfying to a degree I cannot describe; it quite literally puts my world straight and reorients me when I am muddled. But there are levels of engagement below discipline, and I haven't explored those as much.

Probably the level just below discipline is flying. Flying comes from a long build-up spanking where I can relax into the increasing intensity and eventually not experience the heaviest blows as pain at all. I know I'm flying when I lean into the next stroke, eager for the sensation. Others around me know I'm flying when I get a blissful look on my face or start giggling at ridiculously hard strokes. Leather implements will get me to fly the best--I don't think I fly often with wooden implements because the sensation is wrong.

I can also enjoy mock punishment when there are a few people around: me teasing and getting tossed over someone's lap for a few swats. The interaction becomes as much about the crowd and me as it does the top and me, though for it to be fun I still have to trust the top.

"Just because" spankings are sometimes difficult for me to process. I am genuinely hard-wired for punishment, so I expect a reason for a spanking. I've expanded my definition enough that "flying" now counts as a reason, but I have to consciously make myself relax into spankings that are meant to be long and fun. Having experienced some very nice ones, I am better able to shut up the voice in my head that says, "Stop! This isn't fair! I've been good! Why am I getting spanked?" but it still takes me longer to get into that headspace than a punishment headspace.

Then, of course, there are sexual spankings. By sexual spankings, I mean spankings that are only meant to arouse one or all parties and perhaps bring someone to orgasm. No other motives or trappings, no scolding, no stories, no discipline flavor. For as connected as spanking and sex are for me, I've not experimented much with these. My punishment spankings usually turn me (and M) on enough that things proceed naturally from there. And discipline is still at the heart of my kink, so even if I'm not in trouble I'm usually imagining it. Or our foreplay has some taste of it.

I guess this means that I still have some exploring to do in terms of play spanking. Which I'm more than willing to tackle. :-)

Clawing My Way Back

I have been sick for the last week. Flat on my back, abjectly miserable, 102° fever, coughing up a lung, can't breathe through my nose, can't swallow anything, shoot-me-now sick. I haven't checked email, voice mail, text messages, blogs, or done much communicating at all beyond whispered pleas for a little more water. I've sweated through every single pajama-type piece of clothing I own, washed them, and sweated through some a second time. I don't remember the last time I was this wretchedly sick. Today I'm back to about 40% of myself, which means that I have a semblance of a voice, I went to work for about three hours in the afternoon, and got swatted. Considering how far from possible those things have been all week, this is nothing short of a miracle.

Thank you for the sweet wishes and prayers for health. I think it'll be a while before I'm back to full speed, but at least the $20 offer to put me out of my misery is off the table. ;-)

Backup, Please!

Help! I know there's a rule about not getting spanked when the bottom is sick, which means there has to be a rule about not getting spanked when we're both sick. But I don't have access to my Book of Rules and I'm afraid it'll be too late by the time I find it. Does anyone have a copy handy? Could you look in the "Illness and Disease" chapter under "Exemptions"? Please?

You Found Me Again!

More fun search terms that brought unsuspecting (or suspecting?) folks to this blog.

i love m*a*s*h Oh dear. I love M*A*S*H too, but I don't think this is what you were looking for, honey.

pajama spanking Um, pajamas don't give very good spankings. Kind of noodle-y and weak. I prefer the human kind. But whatever floats your boat...

gentle spank No way! As far as I'm concerned, spank hard or don't spank at all. Unless I'm really sore, and then you should be rubbing, not making it worse.

boys being whipped spanking gay m/m discipline Yikes. That's an awful lot to look for in one site. Sorry, guys; wish I could help you.

ghandi spanking story Tee hee. Now that I'd like to read!

iris noise Actually, I pride myself on being very quiet during spanking. No noise from this Iris.

m/m stories? Are you sure? Maybe you'd rather see some M/F stuff? Or F/F? Just checking.

reality spanking Trust me, the spankings here are very real. No fictional accounts, no misrepresentations, and no exaggerations (mostly). And frankly, if NBC held a spanking reality show, I think I'd have a damn good shot at winning.

what we celebrate iris day OK, I don't know what this is, but I'm all for it! Do I get flowers or chocolate? Or good girl spankings?

And the WTF award goes to:

"jump on his belly" Uh, what?