Sometimes I want to be spanked.
And sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I want to be held accountable by a stern, loving, unyielding external force.
And sometimes I just want to make my own decisions.
Sometimes I want to be a little girl, petted and cuddled and swatted for being naughty.
And sometimes I need to be a grown up.
Lately I've been feeling more like the latter of all these pairs. It's not that I've lost interest in spanking, more that my interest is captured elsewhere. We also had a lot to do for the wedding and parties, so I've been highly organized and responsible for the last while and it's getting to feel like a habit. When M has threatened to spank me or has given me rules lately, I shrug and do what he wants--not so much from submission as from an innate knowing that he's right. I don't feel the need to be naughty or willful or even to ask outright for a spanking. Just don't need it now.
I'm not worried about having lost my spanking mojo: there are always ebbs and flows in spanking desire. Being in an ebb means that other things get done. Being in a flow means lots of spanking. [grin]
Besides, how long do you really think I can be good, even if it's genuine?