Saturday, November 29, 2008

Chris, step away from the Barbie doll

Chris, sparkle, and their princess came down to see us today. It was a lovely visit and we had much more of a chance to talk than we did at the wedding. (Weddings, particularly your own, are ridiculously bad times to try to catch up with people.) M took the princess skateboarding and then sparkle gave her a bath while Chris spanked me with two hairbrushes and M watched. And I wasn't even bad! Chris said it was just to remind me that he cares about me; I hmphed and requested that he care about me a little more with his hand and a little less with the ebony brush.

The point of this post, however, is to highlight a fabulous new doll that their princess got for her birthday. The princess certainly loves it, but Chris couldn't seem to stop playing with it.

It looks innocuous, doesn't it?

The secret to this Barbie is that her tail moves backward when you push little invisible buttons in her hips.

And it rather looks like she's trying to spank herself. Or maybe that's just us. ;-)

Friday, November 28, 2008


It started innocently enough.

I needed something to read on the honeymoon and hadn't packed any books before leaving Los Angeles. So in the airport on the first leg of the honeymoon trip, we stopped in Borders so I could browse and find something interesting. Half an hour later, M had three books picked out and I was still dithering. I wanted something light and amusing, but not so light that I would devour the entire thing before landing in St. Lucia.

Finally, at Mark's insistence, I settled on The Other Boleyn Girl and The Little Lady Agency.

Oh, and this book:




I had no idea what I was buying. I had some vague notion that it was coming out as a movie and I saw someone reading it at the place I go to get waxed. But I didn't know it was about vampires and love and desire. Didn't know that it has a screaming teenage girl fan base. Didn't know that said movie would gross over $70 million in the first weekend.

I didn't know it was so ridiculously hot.

I was panting with desire at parts of the book, so unbearably turned on that I wanted to close the book and tackle M, but so hooked in that I couldn't stand to be separated from the story.

I finished the entire damn thing on the plane and in the hotel in Miami (our layover). The next day, I told M that we weren't flying anywhere until I got the other books in the series. This is no small commitment, since there are four books in the series. Each is about three inches thick. The last two only come in hardcover. And I didn't care: I had to finish them.

Now, I've never been a vampire lit fan. I've never read any of Anne Rice's stuff, never really found vampires sexy or alluring. But this little series has converted me. The funny thing is that there's almost nothing overtly sexual about the romance between Bella and Edward. For the first three books it's almost platonic: he won't kiss her and he flat out refuses to have sex with her. She pines and lusts for him (in subtle language that skirts the issue), but nothing happens. From all the reviews I've read, this point makes the series especially popular with mothers of teenagers, who want the abstinence message to come across loud and clear.

Yet even with all the innuendo and subtlety and non-action, these books are HOT. Edward is solicitous of Bella, but glowers when she is unsafe and scolds her soundly when she puts herself in danger. Delicious. There are scenes in all four books that just beg to be extended, for Edward to put Bella over his knee and spank her soundly. She is feisty, but also submissive. Delicious.

If you're wondering, yes, it was the perfect reading material for our honeymoon. The fires burned long and bright and hot.

And I don't care if I have the same taste in literature as a 13-year-old.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Post-Wedding Bliss

Hi everyone!

We're back. We're tired, jet-lagged, not ready for work tomorrow, and still reeling from the whirlwind of activities, but we're back. In a nutshell: The wedding was gorgeous and went off with no major catastrophes and plenty of lovely memories. The honeymoon in St. Lucia was an adventure, though also romantic and beautiful. The California reception yesterday was festive and fun with people we didn't see at the wedding.

I managed to be married for almost a full week before earning my first hairbrushing. :-) I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice to say that the St. Lucian sun is a bit stronger than I thought.

Thank you for all the good wishes and notes over the last month. The experience has been wonderful, but we are more than content to settle into married life without the extra drama of wedding-, travel-, and reception-planning. I'm especially looking forward to getting back into online life and having the time to read blogs and post here.