Saturday, March 28, 2009

A present

Guess what arrived in the mail for M yesterday?

A big box of gingersnap cookies from sparkle.


Now why would she send them to M, do you think?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Twilight #2

For your reading pleasure, again from Anonymous...

A Chemistry Reaction

After chapter 3, before chapter 4

Tuesday after school, Edward and I got in his car. He drove a few minutes and then spoke.

“Do you mind if we go to my home for a while?” he asked.

“I have to cook for Charlie” I answered automatically. “What’s up?”

“Nothing” he replied and shrugged. “Just a change of pace.”

We drove on a few more minutes, listening to the radio.

“How about after dinner?” Edward asked.

“How about what after dinner?” I replied

“After dinner, could we go to my home?” he said.

“Sure.” I said. “Any reason you’re anxious to bring me to your home?” Something didn’t feel right.

He shrugged again. “More privacy” he responded. I’d like to spend time with you, sans Charlie.”

“OK, sure. Fine, great” I answered. But I knew that wasn’t all of it. And besides, wasn’t his family there? How alone could we be? Still, I tossed it off. It probably was something unimportant. Edward often over-reacted.

At my house I cooked for Charlie, something easy, and started on my homework. I could tell Edward really wanted to get going, because he practically did my homework for me, and he never does that. We were finally headed towards his house, when I asked again what was wrong. His hands tightened around the steering wheel.

“Is it Victoria?” I panicked.

“No” he said. “It seems you don’t need Victoria.”

I was going to ask him what he meant as we pulled into the driveway, but almost instantly he was opening the car door and carrying me out of the car. He traveled so fast it was like a blur, through the garage and into a room I’d never seen. He put me down and closed the door.

I noticed the walls were mirrored, and there were several different types of musical equipment, plus a couch.

“A music studio?” I asked.

“My music studio” he answered. “It’s soundproof, even for most vampires.”

“It’s great,” I answered, but I could tell we weren’t here so he could play me a new composition. He sighed and lay back on the couch.

“As I was saying,” he replied, “You don’t seem to need Victoria. You’ll be happy to kill yourself just by attending high school.”

I looked at him incredulously for a minute, and then I knew.

AP Chemistry.

Both Edward and I were in a specialized chemistry class with an intricate lab. Today, Edward was not actually in class with me, having been pulled out for some generic senior activity done one homeroom at a time. So I had done the lab without my usual partner.

And without my safety goggles.

Now, half the class was constantly taking off their goggles- despite threats of detention- which were never carried out- mostly because the goggles were annoying, hideous, and left marks around one’s face for an hour. But Edward insisted I wear my goggles, even though he often left his on the top of his head.

“How did you know?” I asked

“Mike Newton replayed the incident at least one hundred times in his head.”

It was worse than I thought. I had almost spilled a chemical, and Mike’s quick gloved hands kept it from hitting me in the face. Edward knew I had almost got burned.

“Edward..” I began.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he replied. “We’ve been through this, and I know you know I’m right.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and took a deep breath. I could tell he was trying to clam himself

He sighed and continued, “I’m guessing though, that my warning about what I would do if you put your safety in jeopardy again was not taken seriously enough. So here we are.”

At first I didn’t follow. Then I realized what he meant, and instantly, my hands jumped to cover my bottom.

“Oh, so you remembered after all.”

“Edward” I pleaded, “I’ll never do it again.”

“After tonight, I would guess not.” He sat up straight, and took a deep breath. “Okay Bella. Come stand by my side and pull your jeans down to your knees.”

“What?” I cried.

“Bella!” His face was stern. “Obey me at once.”

I shook my head and kept my hands on my bottom.

“Bella” he nearly whispered. “I am not going to tell you again. But let me make this clear. Tonight was supposed to be a reminder of the importance of your safety. But if necessary..” his eyes stared through me. “we can make this night about the importance of instant obedience, after the first lesson is done.”

I knew he was not going to back down. I walked slowly to his side. I took a deep swallow, and lowered my jeans. Tears came to my eyes. I looked at him pleadingly.

In a heartbeat, I was over his knee.

At the first spank I knew my last punishment was light. He walloped into me again and again, and I began to feel panic mingled with pain. This one was really going to hurt.

I was crying as I began to beg. “I’ll never do it again Edward. It was stupid and thoughtless and I promise I’ll never do it again.” I wasn’t sure he could even hear me over the spanks.

He came down hard and fast, right at the center of my bottom, almost touching my thighs. He kept on and on until I was sobbing openly. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Then he switched places.

Edward chose a spot, spanked it seven or eight times fast, so fast it felt like the spot was on fire. Then he chose another spot and did it again. Another spot and he did it again. He must have done at least twelve different spots, and then I screamed. My bottom was one big flame.

He went back to the lower center and began to spank over and over until I began to think he would never stop. I was weeping so hard I could barely speak.

“Please Edward. Please, oh please, I will never ever do anything unsafe again! Never!” I began to cry harder, not even knowing that crying harder was possible.

Edward was unmoved. He continued to spank the center of my bottom. He no longer moved quickly, but methodically, as if his spanks were timed with my heartbeat. He spanked me ten, then twenty, then thirty times, yet still continued systematically.

“Please, Edward your hurting me so much! Please no more, please no more” I pleaded

Edward continued to spank, not even missing one beat. “Believe it or not Bella, this hurts me more than it hurts you” he answered, as he carried on my punishment.

I continued to cry, as I turned my head sideways.

Two mirrors had formed a double reflection, and I found I could actually see myself getting spanked. Though I still wore my white cotton panties, I could see a red blush shining through them, with red skin peeking out of the sides and bottom. Edward’s face was set down with a look of pure concentration, as he stared at my bottom, giving it smack after smack.

My bottom could not take any more. Surely Edward would see that. Surely he would stop. But time meant nothing to a vampire. I could see it in his face as he spanked again and again. He was so determined. And I knew then that I would not get myself in this position again. I would stay safe. I would do as Edward told me. I would do anything not to go through this again.

Then I began to get anxious. Perhaps he would never stop. His hand would never begin to hurt; his arm would never begin to tire.

I was howling out of control. The pain was so bad I began to feel only my bottom, which seemed to nearly grow under Edward’s hand. The rest of me seemed to melt away. I could not stop crying long enough to even plead for him to stop.

And then the spanking ended.

I could tell that Edward was no longer smacking my bottom, but I was still crying fitfully. I could feel my bottom pulsating, the blood rushing, and the pain almost cycling, as if I was still being spanked. My bottom felt like one huge swollen blister that throbbed and burned.

Edward talked as I wept.

“I don’t know what else I need to do to impress upon you the importance of safety.”

I continued to cry in reply.

“I’d like you to remember that if the chemicals had ended up in your face, the pain might have been a lot like this.”

Although I was still crying I tried to nod my head, to show him I was listening. He seemed to understand.

“Only then, it wouldn’t be a pain that would go away in a while, and leave you uninjured. It could have caused you to have gone blind, been disfigured, perhaps even unable to breathe.”

I kept on crying, still unable to talk. He stroked my head softly.

Finally I said the first thing I could. “Edward- it hurts!” Then I went back to sobbing.

Edward breathed out slowly. “I know, love. I wanted to make sure it hurt, because I knew this hurt would be better than a greater hurt, a hurt that could harm you. I love you very much Bella. Your safety is more important to me than anything- more important than a night that could have been pleasant and fun for both of us, and didn’t require me so much discomfort.”

I bristled at that statement. “Caused you discomfort!” I exclaimed.

“Do you think this was fun for me?” he asked. “Do you think I want to bring you to a secluded space, during the only part of the day I can spend time completely alone with you, only to be forced to spend that time on discipline?” He half-laughed. “You got what you deserved tonight- what you needed. Like it or not, it was for your sake we had to go through this. I had to sacrifice a nice evening with the person I love and instead engage in unpleasant necessities!”

I knew he was right, that he had only done this because he loved me. But I was still crying and my bottom was still hurting unbearably. He wasn’t expecting gratitude, was he?

Apparently so.

“And that’s why I expect that during the next phase of your punishment that you will show me your appreciation” he continued.

“The next phase” I screamed. I began to weep in panic.

“Bella” Edward warned. “I’ll accept crying when you’re in pain, but this isn’t crying, this is complaining, and that will only get you an additional punishment.” He raised his hand in the air.

I tried to calm down. “Please” I begged. “I’m trying to clam down.” He gave me a moment.

When I was a little calmer, he stood me up. I wobbled at first but soon got my balance. He instructed me to pull up my jeans, and I lifted them gingerly over my bottom.

Edward pointed to a high desk in the corner of the room. It faced the wall and had a stool in front of it. There was a tablet and a pen.

He walked to the desk and wrote something at the top of the tablet. He returned to where I stood. “Go to the stool.” Edward commanded. “And copy what is at the top of that tablet one-hundred times. And you are to sit directly on that stool, no standing or half sitting, until your task is complete. And Bella” he added. “I will assume that young ladies who look behind them, or work too slowly, are thinking that perhaps they need to return to the couch.” He raised his eyes. “If you know what I mean.”

I walked to the stool and sat down. The fiery pain was renewed. All my weight was resting now on my very sore bottom, making the soreness and inflammation even tenderer. Tears flowed from my eyes. Edward would not have to make me hurry. I wanted off that stool.

I began to copy what was in front of me.

Thank you Edward, for spanking my bottom as it needed and deserved.

I trembled at the statement. I kept on writing, the pain from sitting on the stool serving as an incentive. But I was bitter. It was one thing to have to take a horrible punishment, but another thing to - while my bottom still smarted- have to boringly, repeatedly, thank him for the sting. I was angry, particularly because, although I couldn’t see him, I knew Edward was calm, even relaxed.

It took me a long time to finish, during which time I could feel my bottom stop throbbing and become like one huge bruise of soreness. I was exhausted.

Edward heard me stop writing. He walked to the desk and picked up the tablet. He glanced at it, and then handed it back to me.

“Read out loud a line to me” he said.

This was too much. But I was too tired and too sore not to comply. “Thank you Edward, for spanking my bottom as it needed and deserved.” I read. I didn’t whisper it like I thought I would. I was too worn-out.

Edward seemed satisfied. He placed his finger under my chin and drew my eyes towards his.

“I know you probably think me a cruel tyrant tonight. But this is what you needed. I had hoped the spanking I gave you before would be a one time event- that the shock would wake you up.” He sighed. “I can see now I was wrong. You need training. You need discipline. I’m sorry to say, I have a feeling we may be spending a lot of time down here in the next month or so.”

I began to whimper. “I promise I’ll be good Edward. I’ll stay safe, I’ll do as you say, okay?” I didn’t think I could handle another spanking.

“Okay, Bella. I hope for both our sakes you mean it.” And with that he carried me to the car and drove me home.

Twilight Fanfic 1

Anonymous posted this in the comments, so I thought I should make it an actual post. The other one will follow. Enjoy!

Darkened Moon of an ECLIPSE

Missing Part 1: Bella’s First Time

From ECLIPSE, Page 63….

“I’ll put your car back together in time for school, in case you’d like to drive yourself,” he assured me after a minute.

Rather abruptly, I felt myself moving, being lifted up and shifted by Edward. It seemed almost instantaneous, the second I realized I was moving and the second I found my nose staring at the driver’s seat of my car. I didn’t understand what was going on.

“I don’t want to hurt you Bella” Edward whispered. “I have no desire to cause you pain. But you can’t seem to grasp the danger involved here, and it’s clear to me that you need a bit of an incentive to keep yourself safe.”

Suddenly I realized the position he had placed me in. I attempted to move but he already had my back pinned down.

THWACK. My bottom felt as if it had been struck with a piece of thick wood. THWACK. THWACK.

“Edward!” I cried. “You can’t be serious!” Tears welled in my eyes. I tried to squirm but it was useless. I could hear his hand whistle through the air. THWACK. THWACK. THWACK.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life Bella” Edward replied. “I’ve asked you, pleaded with you, to take your own safety seriously. Obviously, reason and begging were not enough to convince you.”

THWACK. Edward’s hand continued to pound into my bottom. THWACK. THWACK! Despite his cold hands, my bottom felt warm- no hot. I began crying in earnest as the pain became more acute.


“This isn’t fair, Edward,” I pleaded. He responded by giving me another whack. “I didn’t agree to anything. I didn’t promise not to see him, Edward.”

I heard him take a breath, and then four hard whacks came one after the other. I began sobbing as he spoke.

“This isn’t up to you Bella. I told you it wasn’t safe, and that’s the end of the conversation.” He gave me another three spanks, causing me to cry out. “You are not going, you are not doing anything unsafe, and if you insist on sneaking around behind my back, I assure you, the only place I will allow you to get hurt is right here.” He accented the word “here” with another hard whack, and then ended his speech with a round of spanks that caused me to scream.


He gave me one more very hard whack, and then rested his hand on my bottom.

I could not stop bawling. Edward was silent as he left me there, over his knee, while I cried myself out. When I was mostly done, he moved me again, more slowly this time, till I was back seated in the driver’s seat. I flinched as my bottom touched the seat. I was sore.

“You will obey me from now on” Edward said. “You will not try to go to La Push again. And if you do anything that puts your safety in jeopardy again,” at this point, he put his finger under my chin and lifted my eyes to his, “I will spank you, hard.”

I was still sniveling, but made no reply. I was too afraid of a repeat performance.

Edward smiled slightly. “You are making quite the fuss for what was a rather moderate punishment. You would think you had never had a spanking before,” he added.

“I haven’t.” I answered, staring at him. He looked surprised.

“I guess it’s the times,” he sighed. “When I was raised mischievous little girls were given a good reminder of why to behave.”

“I’m eighteen!” I declared, and then began to cry again.

Edward paused until I was a bit more subdued. “Bella. Eighteen is not exactly the pinnacle of old age.” He looked into my eyes earnestly. “I am older and more experienced than you, and have seen a great deal more of life than you have. I think I know what’s best for you.” He waited till I looked back at him. “And, like it or not, if you act like a little girl, I’m going to punish you like a little girl. It’s for your own good, and, anyway, I’m not giving you a choice.” His face hardened. “I don’t suggest you test me on this, Bella.”

With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.
Go to page 64

Monday, March 9, 2009


I wish I were writing a post about all my glorious exploits from Shadow Lane and Las Vegas. I wish I had some exploits to write about. But I spent the entire weekend in my hotel room and I didn't play once, not even with M. Not once. And it sucked. I ventured out for the vendors' fair on Friday, the dinner on Saturday, and a lunch on Sunday: about an hour per day. Other than that I was stuck in our room, sick. I am really, really tired of being sick. It's ruining important events and getting in the way of my life, damn it.

I know I'm whining. I know lots of people who wanted to go to Vegas and couldn't go at all. I know lots of people who struggle with chronic illnesses far worse than mine. I am grateful for the loving support of my friends and my wonderful husband. Truly. But it still sucks to feel broken all the time.