Wednesday, April 23, 2008

De-stressing Spanking #2


I can't believe I'm writing another entry so soon.


I'm actually not stressing about the wedding now. It's been fun lately, planning in my head (no concrete decisions yet) and making appointments, but not really doing a whole lot of anything.

My job, on the other hand, is pretty stressful lately. Lots of really tiny, really important details to track and not lose. And while I'm capable of that, I'm really more of a big-picture kind of girl. But it's the deal for now (and the foreseeable future). Which means that I'm stressed at work and taking it out on myself.

And possibly on those around me.

Tonight I got home, tired from the day, with one hand/arm completely full of groceries for our six dinner guests (invited by M), and the other hand loaded with my purse, our mail, and my keys. And couldn't get into the apartment. Even when I kicked and knocked on the door. After dropping the groceries, most of the mail, and my keys, M finally opened the door. I was not pleased.

"Surly" is the word M might have used.

Fast forward past me being annoyed and snapping at M, then trying to make nice while still stressed, then biting his nose (playfully, I swear!), then accidentally boxing his ears (no, really. I genuinely would not do that ever on purpose). Then realizing that I was not being nice and walking back to his office to apologize.

En route, he met me in the hallway, cheerfully accepted my apology, and dragged me into the bedroom. I didn't know what was going on, but didn't protest. He flopped me over his knee, over the bed (we have a tall bed), and I caught sight of the three implements on my vanity. Serious leather straps, all. Um, yikes.

I got scolded. And strapped. Hard. Over my jeans, but still. He said that he knew I was wound up and that I really needed to be spanked. And more than being spanked, I needed to know that I was being spanked, which meant that it actually needed to be louder than sharp. (An unusual occurrence for me.) So I got strapped. Until I settled way the heck down. And then I got snuggled.

And I apologized sincerely for all my behavior.

And I de-stressed.

Sigh. I guess it does work.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

De-stressing Spanking #1

It may surprise some of you to know this, but I am a fairly intense person. I tend to throw myself into whatever I do with lots of energy, high self-expectations, and a good dash of humor. So it may not surprise some of you to know that I've already had a mini wedding meltdown.

Before I go any farther, I want to state for the record that my entire goal for the wedding and the planning process is that I enjoy myself and everyone around me enjoys themselves too. I've been through and to enough weddings with Bridezillas that I know a lot of things to avoid. I know that things will go wrong. I know that it won't turn out exactly how it is in my head. I also know that no one besides me (and maybe my mom and my sister) will remember the food, the flowers, or my dress. All the details that brides spend so much time planning? They are part of the experience and the event--and that's what guests remember. They remember a happy couple, they remember feeling comfortable and welcomed, and they remember having been a part of the day. So. My plan is to NOT go nuts.

On Monday night, after M proposed (and we called about 40 people), I was tired. Excited, floaty, and tired. So I climbed into bed and couldn't sleep. Not a bit. I wanted to sleep, but it was like I'd had 20 cups of coffee. But that was ok, because Tuesday at work I got to tell a whole other batch of people, so I had more adrenaline to keep me going. Tuesday night: still couldn't sleep. By Wednesday I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm planning the wedding in a state 2000 miles away and I've been trying not to overwhelm M with too much weddingness. (He's interested, but only to a point.) I came home around 9 from a dinner, looked at M and a friend of ours sitting in the living room, and said, "If I don't go to bed right now, I'm going to fall apart." So, like a good girl, I went to bed. Stared at the ceiling. Ran through reception site options in my head. Firmly told myself to stop thinking about wedding things. Meditated. Did progressive relaxation. Two and a half hours later, I got up, opened our bedroom door, walked into M's office, and burst into tears. Absolutely lost it. I was so tired, so overwrought, and all I wanted to do was sleep. M was wonderful. Soothing, cooing, snuggling, rubbing--all of his best tricks. (And still we had to resort to sleeping medicine.) And I finally fell asleep, thank God.

However, by last night he was not quite as love-y. We had dinner and then I was on the couch, watching Season Two of my current favorite show in the whole world (don't laugh, it's really good), when he walked up and held out his hand for the remote. I didn't whine, I didn't plead, I didn't look up with Bambi eyes. I just said, "No!" and tried to wrestle it away from him. Which, in retrospect, was perhaps the wrong idea. When he went to the bedroom to get the hairbrush, I darted in the bathroom and closed the door. He waited patiently, but I wasn't coming out. I mean, really! What were my options? Not good. Finally, I heard him call from the bedroom, "Young lady, this clock says 8:15. For every minute you're in there past 8:15, you're getting a huge paddle swat." Crap! Options getting worse by the minute! Literally. I poked my nose out and saw him standing in our bedroom, looking very stern. The moment I put my toe inside the room, he tossed me over his knee on the bed and started spanking, hard. Then he pulled me back upright and dragged me over to the corner: hands behind my back, no touching the wall. Then it was back over his knee for spanking with his hand, the leather paddle (I think), and the horrible ebony hairbrush. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I was fussing and kicking, but my energy gave out pretty soon. He finished me off with 10 very hard paddle swats, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If you put one foot out of bed, you'll be back in the corner, then you'll be blistered worse than this with the brush, and then you'll head into the corner again. Got it?"

And then I got put to bed, with a slight interruption for some delightful sex. :-) I slept for 12 hours straight. :-)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

BIG news!

So first, a mea culpa for not posting sooner. A variety of reasons, including me going through my apparently seasonal loss of interest in spanking (seems to be every spring, which is counterintuitive, but that's what it is). Also we've just been really busy. And I'm sorry not to be posting anything long, witty, insightful, or juicy. But here's the news:

M and I are engaged!

Hopefully this will make up for some of my recent absence. And I really will try to be better about posting, even though I'm now planning a wedding. :-)