It may surprise some of you to know this, but I am a fairly intense person. I tend to throw myself into whatever I do with lots of energy, high self-expectations, and a good dash of humor. So it may not surprise some of you to know that I've already had a mini wedding meltdown.
Before I go any farther, I want to state for the record that my entire goal for the wedding and the planning process is that I enjoy myself and everyone around me enjoys themselves too. I've been through and to enough weddings with Bridezillas that I know a lot of things to avoid. I know that things will go wrong. I know that it won't turn out exactly how it is in my head. I also know that no one besides me (and maybe my mom and my sister) will remember the food, the flowers, or my dress. All the details that brides spend so much time planning? They are part of the experience and the event--and that's what guests remember. They remember a happy couple, they remember feeling comfortable and welcomed, and they remember having been a part of the day. So. My plan is to NOT go nuts.
On Monday night, after M proposed (and we called about 40 people), I was tired. Excited, floaty, and tired. So I climbed into bed and couldn't sleep. Not a bit. I wanted to sleep, but it was like I'd had 20 cups of coffee. But that was ok, because Tuesday at work I got to tell a whole other batch of people, so I had more adrenaline to keep me going. Tuesday night: still couldn't sleep. By Wednesday I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm planning the wedding in a state 2000 miles away and I've been trying not to overwhelm M with too much weddingness. (He's interested, but only to a point.) I came home around 9 from a dinner, looked at M and a friend of ours sitting in the living room, and said, "If I don't go to bed right now, I'm going to fall apart." So, like a good girl, I went to bed. Stared at the ceiling. Ran through reception site options in my head. Firmly told myself to stop thinking about wedding things. Meditated. Did progressive relaxation. Two and a half hours later, I got up, opened our bedroom door, walked into M's office, and burst into tears. Absolutely lost it. I was so tired, so overwrought, and all I wanted to do was sleep. M was wonderful. Soothing, cooing, snuggling, rubbing--all of his best tricks. (And still we had to resort to sleeping medicine.) And I finally fell asleep, thank God.
However, by last night he was not quite as love-y. We had dinner and then I was on the couch, watching Season Two of my current favorite show in the whole world (don't laugh, it's really good), when he walked up and held out his hand for the remote. I didn't whine, I didn't plead, I didn't look up with Bambi eyes. I just said, "No!" and tried to wrestle it away from him. Which, in retrospect, was perhaps the wrong idea. When he went to the bedroom to get the hairbrush, I darted in the bathroom and closed the door. He waited patiently, but I wasn't coming out. I mean, really! What were my options? Not good. Finally, I heard him call from the bedroom, "Young lady, this clock says 8:15. For every minute you're in there past 8:15, you're getting a huge paddle swat." Crap! Options getting worse by the minute! Literally. I poked my nose out and saw him standing in our bedroom, looking very stern. The moment I put my toe inside the room, he tossed me over his knee on the bed and started spanking, hard. Then he pulled me back upright and dragged me over to the corner: hands behind my back, no touching the wall. Then it was back over his knee for spanking with his hand, the leather paddle (I think), and the horrible ebony hairbrush. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I was fussing and kicking, but my energy gave out pretty soon. He finished me off with 10 very hard paddle swats, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If you put one foot out of bed, you'll be back in the corner, then you'll be blistered worse than this with the brush, and then you'll head into the corner again. Got it?"
And then I got put to bed, with a slight interruption for some delightful sex. :-) I slept for 12 hours straight. :-)