I finally broke down this morning and asked M to spank me hard.
He nodded sleepily, pulled me tight up against him, and whispered into my hair, "I love you, beautiful. And I'm going to give you a really serious spanking tonight."
"The kind that goes on way too long."
"The kind that has you wishing it were over way before it is."
But it's ok. I soooo need it.