Sunday, August 26, 2007

A bit of background

I don't want to write a whole autobiography here (most people reading this blog already know me, either in real life or from PB), but I thought I should probably set out some kind of introductory post. At least an intro about me and spanking.

I have been interested in spanking for as long as I can remember. Before I was old enough to realize that it was sexual, I knew that I was fascinated by spankings: reading about them, catching snippets in the movies, hearing parents threaten their children in supermarkets, listening to stories from family and friends. So even though I thought about it a lot, it wasn't until sometime in college I realized that all this interest was related to a specific tingling sensation and perhaps that meant it was sexual.

So yes, spanking is sexual for me. Most of my orgasms involve me being spanked or me thinking about spanking--it is possible for me to come without spanking being involved, just not common. At some point I'll probably resurrect a survey I did for an independent study in grad school about sexuality, sexual orientation and BDSM, but we'll leave that for now.

On top of being sexual, though, spanking is about discipline for me. It took me a while to come to terms with that: I was lucky to come of age in a time where spanking doesn't seem perverted or terribly unusual, but discipline? That was a whole other game, thoroughly contradictory to my liberal arts and feminist training. And probably fodder for another later post. Suffice to say that I am now at a point where I recognize that spanking-as-discipline is at least as important to me as spanking-as-sexual-expression.

I have been incredibly blessed to find strong, supportive communities and individuals who have helped me articulate my needs and find ways of having them met. Crimson Moon was the first place I found people who were totally comfortable with spanking--they had fought their own personal battles and come to peace with themselves and their needs. Through CM I met Yoni and Tasha, a couple who have become family--in fact, we were in a relationship for a time. They gave me the gift of acceptance and taught me that it is in fact ok to need to be disciplined/punished.

Through Crimson Moon I also met M. In the beginning of our relationship, he was unconvinced of his capacity to be a disciplinarian, but needless to say, he has changed. We continue to negotiate the scope and boundaries of discipline in our relationship, but he is a wonderful man and I am lucky to have him.

Chris and sparkle and their Princess became good friends through other scene friends, and they became a lifeline for me when I moved to Los Angeles over a year ago. When M and I broke up for several months, Chris stepped into the role of disciplinarian. Which means that I technically have three disciplinarians: Yoni, Chris, and M. Two of them live more than six hours away (Yoni lives in New York!), so they don't do much on a daily level, but there's still the capacity for Iris to get into a world of trouble. And neither Yoni nor Chris has much compunction about emailing M and asking him to spank me for something.

For all this blustering, you'd think that I'm constantly in trouble. I'm not. I'm a good citizen. I mostly obey traffic and other laws. I am sassy and bratty--some times more than others--but am also kind and sympathetic and very interested in helping people (my profession dictates that).

And that's enough about me for now.


david said...

Iris, I just read all your posts and I like your blog. You now have a new reader.

Iris said...

Thank you, David! Welcome!

Mija said...


Sooo thrilled to see you have a blog sweet Iris. :-) You write so thoughtfully.

Dr. Ken said...

You're also an excellent luncheon companion....:-)
I always enjoyed our occasional get-togethers to talk and catch up. Now I get to enjoy your thoughts here on your blog...
Sure, it's not exactly the same thing, but maybe if I have a sandwich while I read....

Dr. Ken

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