Thanks to brilliant suggestions by Google and two wonderful women whose names start with S, I am making a list of new rules. Rules for tops. Especially tops whose names start with M or C--but feel free to apply them liberally in your own top situations.
Rule 1: No spankings allowed when the spankee is sick. This is cruel, unusual, and only makes me feel sicker longer. Which means that someone is prolonging my illness. Which is not a nice thing to do. But since some tops are sneaky, this also requires:
Rule 2: Spankings earned while someone is sick cannot be accrued or made worse because they are deferred. Basically, when I'm sick I get carte blanche to complain and not follow all the rules perfectly. Because I'm SICK, that's why.
Rule 3: No collusion between tops allowed. If one spanks me, no one else can spank me for earning a spanking from the first one. And no one can interfere with the punishment of another to add to it or make it worse. Tops should not talk amongst themselves unless one of them is convincing another to let me off the hook.
Rule 4: No new nasty implements allowed in the house. Not even if they're smuggled in in pretty wrapping paper and put under my Christmas tree. We have quite enough horrible things without adding to the collection. This includes anything made from ebony, rubber, lexan, dragon's anything, or exotic hardwoods. Lovely leather, especially from The London Tanners, is welcome.
Rule 5: All punishments must be agreed on ahead of time. This means no surprise consequences that were not publicized ahead of time. Like, for instance, being spanked for getting sunburned. Or finding out too late that not getting enough sleep while away on vacation counts as a spankable offense. All rules and corresponding punishments should be discussed and noted (preferably on paper) before they may be enforced.
This is all I can think of at the moment, but I am definitely open to suggestions from other non-tops. Additions, anyone?