Sweet, sweet internet. My very intelligent, highly skilled, and much beloved M has managed to configure our internet connection. Never mind the boxes piled everywhere (and I do mean everywhere). Never mind the unassembled and unpurchased furniture. We are online! (Lest you think I'm being sarcastic, I am genuinely grateful. Boxes will take forever to unpack; I've been having internet DTs.)
And here is an example of just how brutal my love can be. He hairbrushed my foot! Well, actually, he hairbrushed my backside hard enough to make me kick high, and then he hairbrushed my foot. As SarAdora would say, Tsk.