The Saga of the Sunburn, Part 1

I think something is wrong with me. No, really. I can't seem to go outside for more than 15 minutes without getting sunburned these days. Granted, I am of Swedish and German descent and I am a Midwesterner by birth. But I've been living in Southern California for two years (as of Tuesday) and I've never had this much trouble with the sun.

By now you may have realized that I am sunburned yet again. And by "yet again," I mean, " for the third time since my horrible horrible sunburn 6 weeks ago." Sigh. No, I'm not taking any medication that might make me more photosensitive--I'm not taking any medication, period. And no, I'm not a complete moron. I just don't expect to get burned by being outside for 15 or 20 minutes. None of these burns are even remotely the same as the bad burn from earlier and none of them are in the same place. I've been extremely careful not to reinjure the spots where I got burned before. But last weekend I was working on our little patio planting some herbs and vegetables; it was hot and I was wearing shorts and a sports bra. So my shoulders (carefully sunscreened) stayed fine but my upper and lower back got pink (a perfect outline of the sports bra). And yesterday I stopped by a friend's house for lunch and we sat outside to eat, so my chest got burned. Not my arms, which were also exposed. Just my chest. Sigh. I think there's something wrong with me.

And there's definitely something wrong with M. All his gentle good nature and sweetness have evaporated on this issue. I have a new rule about wearing sunscreen every day on my back, shoulders, and chest. So even though I have a Very Good Reason why I wasn't wearing it yesterday, he's not sympathetic.

Which might be why Lily is wishing she'd stayed home last night.

When he got home from his hike, Lily was over and we were having a girls' date. It was fun until I lifted my shirt to show him the new bra I got at Victoria's Secret. His eyes got kind of flinty and he said, "You got burned."

"Just a little! It's not bad. It'll be gone by Monday."

"You're getting paddled."

"It's really ok! I promise! Just a little pink--it's really not bad."

"You didn't wear sunscreen and you got burned. You have a rule about that. You're so getting paddled."

My eyes got big and my mouth went into a little o. "Then I'm going to keep Lily here with me all night."

"Then Lily can watch you get punished. She likes that."

This is true, she does. She isn't completely in the scene yet--she's still exploring what she likes and what she wants--but she definitely does like to watch people get spanked. Hard.

At this point she came and flung herself on me. "You can't spank Iris, cause I got burned today too." This is also true. Different situation than mine: she did put sunscreen on, but didn't reapply and stayed out in the sun all day.

M's eyes got flintier. "Then you're getting paddled too."

Lily let out an almost inaudible "eep" and buried her face into me.

He looked at us. "I have two naughty girls here who didn't take good care of themselves. So you're both going to get spanked hard. And you're both going to watch the other one get spanked."

We sat in silence, a bit surprised by the turn of events.

"But I'm not going to spank you now. I'm too sore and I think it will do you some good to stew about it."

Some negotiation about schedules followed and then, "7:00 tomorrow night it is, then."

Which is, if you haven't guessed, in, um, two hours and thirty-three minutes. Gulp.